Milestone birthday

Andy will never live to see his daughter enter double digits, won’t live to see her turn 10. He won’t see Colin officially turn into a teenager, even though at heart he’s been one for a year in many respects. He is already missing Colin start to develop an interest in girls and he won’t be here to share his experiences. He’s missing it. He’s going to miss he majority of their lives. In contrast to me, where he’s witnessed mine.

But I won’t miss it. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. They are my everything. I live for them and for the hope of reclaiming life in a deep, meaningful way. It will take time, but I’m resilient. And just as Andy and so many others have told me, I’m also strong. I will get through this. I am determined. If anyone can, I can.

From Frankel’s “Yes to Life in Spite of Everything” page 28 “Doubt about the meaningfulness of human existence can easily lead to despair: We then encounter this despair as the decision to commit suicide”